GAH! The curse of being male!

Long story short: we're in the middle of a minor family crisis (I may explain later) that involves my sisters and my mother showing up at our house for some urgent "spring cleaning" (translation: we have too much crap, we're getting help sorting through it and tossing most of it out).

So, my youngest sister (I have two, one is 3.5 years younger than me, the other is 10 years younger) comes over and busts her ass trying to help us out. She really has been great, and has motivated us to do a lot more than we had thought we were going to do this weekend.

She has a "take no shit" attitude, and most of the time that's a good thing (or at least, it's a strong trait)...but sometimes, it can be a bit too much. For instance, tonight, she started going off on me for this and that ("this" being that I have too much crap, and "that" being her opinion on what is essential and what isn't among my stuff).

A piece of paper is all it took.

Going through a stack of papers, she pulled out a laser print of an old Wurlitzer jukebox that I had printed for design reference. She asked if I wanted to keep it or toss it, and I told her I wanted to keep it. She rolled her eyes, and asked why I couldn't just re-print it. I explained to her that I didn't think it was worth wasting the toner or paper to re-print it, so that's why I answered "keep". She then took it upon herself to judge me and deem my priorities out of whack. I interjected; I had been hearing derisive comments from her most of the day, and I had let them roll off my back. This time, it just stuck in my craw, so I said something along the lines of:

"Listen, I really do appreciate all that you're doing to help us, but could you please not judge me, and please stop casting aspersions at me?"

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. While I thought I had handled it tactfully and politely, she proceeded to completely break down and started tearing me a new rectum.

I tried to retain my composure, despite the fact that she was quite visibly upset. She accused me of being unappreciative (which I certainly am not...I've been very appreciative of her efforts and the gifts of her time and concern). While I was trying to remain calm, my wife chimed in and accused me of being insensitive to my sister.

Insensitive? I was making a point to try to be sensitive! I have no idea where that came from.

So, my sister leaves, angry and in tears. I'm stunned at this point, because I can't see what it is that I've done or said wrong. I thought I was dealing with two seperate issues:

1. My sister making a generous and mighty effort to help us get our stuff straight. (For which I am extremely grateful).

2. My sister being rude and disrespectful. (Which I can live without)

I didn't think that doing one entitled her to do the other. While I certainly appreciate her efforts and her help, I don't think that has anything to do with her casting judgement on me or on my work.

I dunno. I've been surrounded by women today. Am I out of line here? Am I just seeing the "male" perspective?

Earlier today, I got frustrated because I found some things for which I had been searching for a few months. They had been crammed in a box and put in our shed (unbeknownst to me). I figured it was probably my wife or her sister (who occasionally helps us out), so I asked my wife to check with me before putting stuff in storage again. Apparently, my mother, my sister, and my wife all thought I was completely out of line in asking this, and they all sort of "ganged up" on me, telling me it was my fault for "having so much crap." Nevermind the fact that I never once touched these items to put them in storage, or the fact that nobody asked me if I was using these things prior to stuffing them away.

I still don't see how I was out of line in either of the scenarios above...but I seem to be the only one who was present who thinks that.